And the fear-mongering NJDOE spake these words, saying:

We are the Department of Education, who have brought thee out of the Land of Failure and Ignorance, and toward the House of College and Career Readiness.

Thou shalt have no other Educational Authorities before us.

Thou shalt not read nor attempt to interpret any statements the Commissioner of Education has made to about district autonomy, read or attempt to interpret NJ-specific PARCC policy manuals, regard the definition of a “Non-Testing Student” provided by Stephanie the PARCC Customer Service Representative, read Strauss Esmay procedural guidelines, form or join a grassroots advocacy groups that inform thee of ways and reasons to “opt out” of mandatory testing, or pay attention to any Boards of Education or Superintendents that have issued “humane” PARCC “refusal” guidelines. Thou shalt not worship any of these groups, nor serve as volunteers or organizers for them, nor share their Facebook posts, Internet links, or Test Refusal Templates.

Thou shalt not take the name of the Department of Education, its Commissioner, PARCC, Pearson, the NJSBA, the NJPTA, the NJCC, or the NJPSA in vain, either in private, in writing, on Facebook, on Twitter, on NJ 101.5, or in sessions of public testimony, for we will not hold him guiltless that commits such acts in any forum.

Thou shalt remember the Testing Day, to keep it holy during Time on Task. For nearly ten hours shalt thou labor, and when thou hast finished, thou may rest to restore thy strength for any additional testing We deem is necessary to determine thy College and Career Readiness.

Thou shalt ignore thy father and mother, should thy father and mother attempt to refuse testing for thee, for thy father and mother are as ignorant as thou art with regard to PARCC testing. Otherwise, thy days will be long and filled with Disciplinary Consequences.

Thou shalt not refuse to test, or else thou shalt Sit and Stare.

Thou shalt not pollute the testing environment by fidgeting, drawing on paper or school furniture or other property, coughing loudly, flaunting thy refusal in the face of thy test-taking peers, possessing forbidden electronic devices or works of fiction, requesting to use the lavatory, flushing toilets, uttering inappropriate remarks under thy breath, making squeaking noises by shifting in thy chair, restoring factory settings to or installing viruses on thy Chromebook, or engaging in other forms of “misconduct” as determined by Us.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighboring district’s humane PARCC test refusal policy, nor any district’s BOE members or administrators who speak out against Sit and Stare, nor any district’s expensive technology, bandwidth, or district-isssued headphones, nor any “alternative placement locations” for non-testing students.


Thou shalt obey these moral imperatives and engage in appropriate testing behavior, or else thy school will be punished and unfunded, thou wilt be deemed Unready for College and Career, and thy life will be ruined and thy teacher will be fired.

So Sayeth the New Jersey Department of Education.




1 Comment

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One response to “And the fear-mongering NJDOE spake these words, saying:

  1. Michelle McFadden-DiNicola

    Oh, Ani! Just what I needed to read after my week of sinful testimony at the Jackson committee hearing this past Thursday as I repent on this solemn weekend. Oh New Jersey DoE Lord, forgive me, for I am guilty of seeing what you do not want me to see. I will try to be less critical, cognizant, and independent in my actions. Amen.

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